Best Friend’s Funeral NaPoWriMo

Dangerous Risk Adrenaline Suicide by Fear of F...

Dangerous Risk Adrenaline Suicide by Fear of Falling (Photo credit: epSos.de)

It’s my best friend’s birthday today, only he’s dead. He committed suicide several years ago and finally I can grieve for him. For so long I was confused. Filled with anger that he didn’t trust me enough to talk to me, devastated that he’d gone. An overlying sadness filled my days. I knew him better than I’ve ever known anyone; husbands, friends, brothers. Long walks on East Yorkshire‘s coast and Wolds does that. Oh, I also pinched the first two lines of this from a short story of mine called ‘Remorse’.

 

Funeral

I wanted purple bruised and scowling skies,
the day to sulk it’s sullen way to dark.
Instead –
I woke to salad greens,
New England blues
and high, high above,
babies breath clouds.
Perfect
for walking.

As we neared your grave,
I thought I caught a trace of your tobacco,
drifting
in the shafts of sunlight that sliced the trees.

Are you watching us?

©theeditoffice2013

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2 Comments

  1. How did you sort it all out?

    • As you get older you learn to live. Who said, ‘youth is wasted on the young’? Took a long time, though. Actually took a long time to find the ‘distance’ I needed to write about it, but although I don’t do therapeutic writing – too painful – it was cathartic. E x Thank you for your interest 🙂

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